Stocktaking – Goodbye December

Hello and a Happy New Year to you. This post should have dropped right before New Year, but alas, life happened. That said, done is better than not done at all, and I owe it to myself to ensure that I keep my promise to myself.

My five-month hiatus was rather drab, but nonetheless necessary. After the backlash of COVID, and in the spirit of trying to get back to normal, I definitely bit off more than I could chew. I thrust hard into my art, writing, and music, only to soon regret it when the burnout blew up in my face.

It is not a word I was accustomed to before, but I have now come to know and recognize burnout in all its glory. The truth is that it is not pretty, no matter what angle you look at it from. Forcing yourself out of it is even worse. So what happens when you’re caught between no productivity and complete exhaustion?

Well… in a nutshell, I’d call it life.

Life has dealt me; and I’m sure a number of us, quite a few blows this last month, heck, the entire last year. Many things did not go as planned and there was quite a fair share of regret. Coming to the close of things I think what I can say is I am glad I was able to get to the end of the year.

Never has the value of life and peace of mind been treasured as in the days following the pandemic. I have come to appreciate each new day with a profound awareness that tomorrow is not assured. As I have come to see, control is an illusion, and all we can truly bank on is this moment.

Therefore, for this moment I am grateful, first of all, that in spite of my burnout and hiatus, I was still able to read and get my reading challenge for the year done. I was also able to make some big moves in my own walk with God and in ministry, which is saying a lot considering where I started after my dad passed.

I don’t know what this new month has in store for me, but I am taking a very different approach this time. With every bit of me, I am laying all my cards in God’s hands and allowing him to take control. I’ve tried it my way thus far and it’s all blown up in my face. I think it’s about time I tried it his way and see how things go from here on out.

That’s my two cents. What about you? Where do you stand as we step into this new year?

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